Thinking of sparking up your sex life with a threesome? Go ahead! However, you should ask yourself these 6 simple questions.
Chances are, you and your partner have thought about having a threesome with another person. The reasons can be many, but still revolve around you two having a great time, and discovering new horizons in your relationship. Though, in fantasy it plays easier than done, in reality, things can take a negative turn. You see, most couples are already plagued by a plethora of problems, to begin with. Insecurities about your partner, doubts about your sexual performance, trust issues, lackluster communication, and many other things are just the beginning.
Therefore, it makes a lot of sense to think things through before you decide to bring someone else into the bedroom, as it can boost or completely destroy your relationship. Here are 6 things to consider before enacting your spicy fantasies:
1. Is the threesome the solution to your sex life?
Before you even begin fantasizing about a hot night with two other people, consider whether what you’re trying to do will lead to the desired results. As mentioned before, there are many tempting reasons to engage in a threesome. However, it makes a big difference if it’s for the purpose of fixing your sex life or just for experimenting. While the latter seems the least complicated, if you belong to the first category, then you should really give it a deep thought to if that action will lead to the desired results. Perhaps it’ll serve as the opposite, and mark the end of your relationship. Deep problems in couples cannot be fixed by bringing other people into your bedroom. At most, they may serve as an illusion that they got temporarily fixed. In most cases, it just puts the final nail in this doomed relationship.
2. Did you consider the possibility of STDs?
Everything is fun and games until you find out that the person you brought into your bedroom gave you Syphilis. It’s been said multiple times, but people still need to hear it once more: safe sex.
Get to know better and do some background checks on the person that is going to join you by asking them or requesting STD tests. Ask them for medical proof that they’re free of anything transmittable. Also, return the favor and properly inform that person if you have any conditions that could pose a danger to them. Once those technicalities are cleared, you can proceed with having mindless fun.
3. Is your partner into it as much as you are?
Maybe you’ve set your eyes on someone you like either through a dating site, or your social circle, but what about your partner? Does he/she like your choice? Do they get along with each other? While your partner might be more lenient to avoid displeasing you, later in the bedroom when things get cold and silent, you’ll realize that chemistry among you three is important. So, be more open about your likes and dislikes, and communicate them to your partner. Once a mutual agreement is reached, you can proceed to have fun.
4. Is the other person into both of you?
Most likely, the “third wheel” is already into you two if he/she agreed to join you. Sometimes, however, that person might not be equally attracted to both of you, and that could be a bummer or completely ruin the night, as we mentioned before. Try to have a fruitful discussion with the third person. It’s important to understand their likes and dislikes, and their attraction to you.
5. Are you able to handle watching your partner with another person?
One of the most important aspects is how will you act when your partner is going to have sex in front of you with someone else? Will you enjoy it? Will you feel indifferent, or will you become enraged as jealousy kicks in?
In order to prevent that, and any long-term consequences in your relationship, stop fantasizing for a moment about your “dream night”, and start thinking about the caveats in a more realistic way. For example, how will you feel if your partner orgasms multiple times with that other person? How will you feel if you see your partner revealing a side that was never shown before? What will you do if your partner ignores you during sex with that person? What if your partner shows immeasurable pleasure with that person?
As you can see, things start to get a bit nasty when you think about the what-ifs. Therefore, it’s important to realize that fantasy differs from reality, and that you should be open to the possibility that different feelings might emerge when the threesome happens. So, please, consider before proceeding any further.
6. Will your relationship be the same?
Your final thoughts should be spent on the aftermath for a good reason. Introducing a third person into the relationship, even for just one night, can have a significant impact in the long run. It might affect how you see each other, and it might deepen your insecurities about each other, such as your sexual confidence, or your sexual inadequacy. These are just a few of the reasons you should think about it thoroughly. Keep also in mind that you or your partner might become emotionally attached to the other person, and that would seal the end of your relationship.
Final thoughts
Having a threesome can be a wonderful one-of-a-kind experience when implemented properly in a healthy relationship. On the other hand, if there are underlying issues or the level of communication and trust between you and your partner is poor, then you are going to suffer some dire consequences. Even so, you should definitely include in the equation the variables the other person brings between you two. Once everything is clear, you can safely proceed and enjoy your fantasy.
What’s your experience with threesomes? Please, let us know in the comments.
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