How to calm your woman down?

A 10 step guide for all the men out there who want to tame their furious female partner.

Bitch please meme of a man raising his hand in black and white

The 10 most successful methods of relieving your woman from her anger. A men’s guide that will re-establishing the love in your relationship.

There is a 100% chance that you’ve been in an argument with your female significant other. We know how frustrating and hard to deal with it can be. Once the storm starts, there’s almost no stopping it. It doesn’t matter if you use love or logic, because none of these works.

Worry no more! We have created a 10-step guide to help you in this dire situation. This is directed at both pros and amateurs. Read carefully!

1. Tell her to calm down

Scientific research has shown that when you tell an angry female to take it easy, they do actually calm down. It should be obvious that telling people to do something, they would comply, right? This simple step can prevent the biggest disasters in your relationship from happening. You only need to utter those two magic words.

Pro tip: “calm your tits down” is said to work even better if she is beyond angry.

2. Tell her that she’s acting like her mother

When you bring up their role models, their mothers, it will remind them that they’re acting up. This should make them revert to a behavior of that suits a high-quality woman they look up to. Once you let them know, they will immediately start acting like ladies again. Just like their mother taught them to.

3. Tell her that it’s just her imagination

Modern life has modern problems. As such, modern women are susceptible to stress, anxiety, intoxication, and mental issues. Therefore, the reasons she is angry about, might be as well in her imagination.

Let her know that. As soon as she realizes that she’s just imagining things, she will start acting normal again.

4. Ask her if she’s on her period

Hey, maybe she forgot herself because the hormones during “those” days made her somewhat wacky. So, it’s a good reminder for her. She will rethink her behavior, rationalize it, and even thank you for it.

5. Ignore her

If you’re too lazy to apply the above, you can just turn your back to her. After all a Sigma male, doesn’t have to endure her misbehaviour. This will make her instantly think that she’s wrong. She will realize she is the one who should apologize instead. After a few minutes in, she’ll be begging for forgiveness for the distress she’s caused you.

This tactic is said to be highly effective when you two are in bed and are getting ready to sleep. You just turn on the other side, and start snoring while she’s in the middle of an argument. This will give her all night to think about how badly she treated you. You should expect to get a surprise morning breakfast and a blowjob from her as an apology.

6. Suggest she sees a therapist

Anger management is a real issue, and should be treated as such. Next time she has an outburst, let her know that there are healthy ways of dealing with it. She just has to complain to the right person about her problems, instead of bothering you.

7. Remind her that your ex behaved better

It’s a well-known fact that your woman competes with your ex constantly. Letting her know that your ex could manage her anger better than her, will make her rethink her mannerisms. It will make her refrain from her uncontrollable emotions. She doesn’t want to drive you back to your ex, after all.

8. Point out that normal women don’t act like this

You’ve definitely heard before that women also compete with all the other women constantly. It’s true. Her mom and your ex aren’t the only examples you should bring to the table. Think of any woman you know, and mention her in the conversation as a healthy example. Statistically, when she feels you’re comparing her to another woman, she will rethink her attitude.

9. Tell her that men know better

You know that men are better than women at everything. Men are also better at controlling themselves and behaving more rationally. Remind her of that, and the fact that she should do what her man tells her to.

10. Don’t answer her texts or phone calls

If she’s causing a virtual scene by flooding your phone with texts and phone calls, then just ignore her and mute your phone. You don’t have to deal with this during your work, as it’s nonsense.

If she stops attempting to reach you, it means she understood she’s wrong. She will call later to apologize.

Bonus tip: teach her friend the same lesson

Studies show that women rely on their friends for approval and support for their actions. You can’t possibly ignore that scientific fact. As such, when her friend takes her side and starts acting just like her, put her in her place. They’re foolproof and guaranteed to work on every woman. If she still doesn’t budge, tell her to go bother her boyfriend, instead of being nosy.

Don’t stop there, yet. Let your woman also know that her friend is a bad influence on her, and that they shouldn’t see each other that often.

Hopefully, this guide has helped every man out there.

I also pity the fools who haven’t realized this article is satirical.

Subscribe & follow us for more.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel Wallpaper Chaos Emperor, the Dragon of Armageddon

Will ‘Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel’ Be What Fans Have Been Waiting For?

Lipstick mark on man's white shirt

Why do men cheat? Here are 15 reasons