Do you have a problem figuring out what the opposite sex wants? Here are 11 things men need to know about women.
Most articles tell you what to do to seduce a woman, but not what a woman actually wants and needs from a man. The fact that many men have difficulties in grasping this concept or picking up those subtle signals and the female body language, which in turn causes them to conclusively fail the “seduction game”, is often overlooked. The result is making men look like fools or causing them to cross certain boundaries without them even realizing it, and making things worse. Hence, there’s a need for a deeper understanding of the essential prerequisites a woman has for her potential partner.
Speaking about women, they’re far more capable of successfully interacting with the opposite sex and effortlessly profiling any man that crosses their path before making an important decision. I must admit that as an adult man, I’ve realized that women are inherently way more intelligent when it comes to social interactions and relationships. I’m also amazed by the fact that they can just pick up the smallest cues during a simple conversation and generate plenty of information about the person in front of them in a short time. Contrary to popular belief, women know very well what they want, they just don’t communicate it the way men understand it. Although most men learn those social skills later in life (speaking from personal experience and from my circle of friends), there can be some relationship “gurus” who can be quite tenacious when it comes to seducing women.
In this article, I am going to focus on women and their expectations. Trust me, this was no easy task. I had to go to great lengths to get those “secrets” and share them with you.
The top 11 traits women expect from you:
1. A backbone
A man with a backbone means a lot to a woman. Simply put, they want a person that can state his opinion without fearing her rejection. You should always appear as a person that has his own thoughts and opinions, and can construct arguments decently. That, however, is not limited only to words, but to actions as well. Since actions are much stronger than words, you’ll be surprised how attractive you can become in her eyes just by taking some initiative and doing what feels right at the moment. It will give you leverage compared to your competition.
2. Taking care of yourself
Women nit-pick on your appearance too. When you are sitting with a woman at a table, she’s going to scan you from head to toes. She’s going to take a long look at all your facial and body features, including your clothing and your personal hygiene. Most of the time, you won’t even know it. She’s going to check your facial hair, your eyebrows, your receding hairline, your teeth, your hands, your nails, your perfume, your wardrobe choices, and basically everything visible to the eyes.
Fear not, this isn’t something that should be of major concern, as women would do it regardless of who is sitting in front of them. However, what should concern you is how clean and well-groomed you are when your turn comes. You see, women like a man that pays attention to details, takes care of himself, and stays fresh. For women, appearance is an important matter, and they expect the same level of dedication from you.
3. Communication
This is a crucial point and also the step where most men fail. Being communicative does not mean talking about yourself or just being a good listener. Doing small talk instead of conversations won’t do the trick either. As if asking about the weather to a potential partner would do any good.
Being communicative means understanding the way she communicates and trying to “sync” with her in order to hold a conversation and understand what she is trying to convey to you. You should also make sure that your message has reached her as well. There is no other way to explain this, but you will know when you have done it right. It’s something that requires intuition, instincts, and some attention to details. If you aren’t yet there, and you’re trying to be nice and polite, just don’t. It will appear as fake and pretentious, and will push her away. What you should do instead, is to revert to point one and speak your mind. Try to link your argument to her. Don’t be fearful of what she might think or say. She is interested in you and wants to know you, after all. Most likely, she will be understanding towards you. So, do yourself a favor and try to get to know her.
4. Seduction
Seduction isn’t about making fancy moves directly inspired by movies, where the man stares into the woman’s eyes or says some cheesy pickup lines, and the task is complete. Memorizing scripted phrases won’t do the trick, either. If you haven’t yet engaged in proper communication as mentioned before, you probably don’t know what she wants anyway. So, avoid any weird acts if you don’t want to look like a clown.
Being seductive means you understand her psyche and what she’s looking for. Being seductive means understanding her body language; what she means by saying specific words when combined with specific movements. Being seductive is basically putting her gently out of her comfort zone and showing her that you understand her needs. If things go well, you can engage in a more erotic conversation by keeping it subtle and respectful without looking like a pervert. Moving directly to the main dish is something I would never recommend. You’ll come out as a pervert. So, a more linear progression will work in your favor. Also, take your time spicing things up. This night is for the two of you only.
5. Being a good man
Being “nice” and actually being a nice person are entirely two different things. This debate of “nice” guys not getting the girl, has been already discussed a million times, and, hopefully, it has been resolved too. I refuse to accept that people still keep falling for that meme. If you want to find out where you stand, you need to take a long look at yourself. Once you’ve done so, it should be clear whether you are genuinely a nice guy or just want to appear “nice” for the sake of seducing women.
Women can easily see through you and “filter” all that crap during the first moments of your conversation. This is one of those cases where being a phony won’t get you anywhere. If you’re genuinely a good person, she’ll see it and appreciate it. She’ll only judge you by the way you treat her and the people around you. There’s absolutely no reason to force it. Being nice shouldn’t be a dating trait only. You should always be nice. I’ve never heard of a woman actually wanting to date an evil person. Have you? The so-called “bad boy” that women prefer, is related to confident men who speak their minds and aren’t hypocrites like “nice” guys (see point 1).
6. Being a “macho” man
Initially, this might appear contradictory to the previous point, but it’s actually complimentary. Women do like a manly man and by that, I don’t mean they like the wife-beating kind of man, but a strong masculine man that is strong not just physically, but also mentally. Women want a reliable and supportive man that can protect them and take care of their needs; they want somebody that can support them in difficult moments. They want somebody that is emotionally strong, stable, and sensitive enough to understand what she’s going through. If you’re a sensitive man, don’t be afraid to show it. It will definitely make you look stronger. Also, don’t be afraid to go for what you really want. For example, don’t be afraid to lean for that first kiss. Chances are, you won’t regret it.
7. Independence
Your “game” might be spot on so far, but nothing will turn off a woman more than a man-child. By that, I mean someone who’s still living with his parents and has no job or a car. No woman wants to get together with a man that she potentially needs to take care of. It’s revolting and will ruin any chances of being with her.
Being a man-child expands also to: having a dirty place, not washing your dishes or your clothes, and not taking care of yourself. Overall, women seek a person that has reached emotional and financial independence. Not to say that women can’t take care of themselves and can’t be financially independent, but even so, they still expect their men to be at least at their level or above. They also expect you to pick them up with your car, but they won’t tell you that either.
8. Clear intentions
Whether you intend to just date or commit to a long-term relationship, it has to be clear from the start. Nobody likes a dodgy person who hasn’t made his intentions clear, especially women. You should be honest about your needs, and realize that in the end, you may not match. But that’s much better than wasting both of your time and hurting each other. That being said, in my personal experience, women like a stable man that shows true dedication to just one woman. If you can be trusted and can devote yourself to her, you’ll get many points. Even the women that like to “screw around” don’t want a man like that. It sounds perplexing, but it’s true.
9. Being friends with her friends
Social circles of women tend to have a high priority (if not the highest) for them, and it’s an essential aspect of their lives. Sometimes, she might even postpone or cancel your date to see her friends. This, of course, should not be worrisome as long as it’s not during your first crucial dates, and doesn’t become systematic later on. Otherwise, it might indicate that she simply doesn’t like you and is trying to get rid of you in a passive way. Her friends and family are very important to her, and she expects you to get along with them. Trying to confront her and demand that she spends time only with you, will most likely backfire. Sometimes women can overdo it as well, so try to discuss it as adults and find some middle ground, if possible.
10. Having goals
Men that are passionate and have ambitions in their lives will be valued higher than the ones who don’t. If you have clear goals and you put a great effort into achieving them, it’s something admirable in itself, and women appreciate that in a man. It doesn’t really matter what your goals are. Don’t be embarrassed about them. Your solid dedication to achieving your dreams is what seduces women.
11. Love
Number 11 is the most important and the core of all things: love.
Everybody needs to love and to be loved. This is what gives meaning to your relationship. If you truly love her, you need to show it. On the other hand, if you two just started dating, you have to at least show your emotional capacity to love.
Generally talking about each other’s feelings, without showing much substance, won’t do it. Actions speak for themselves, as we mentioned before; from the way you take care of her, to the way you look her into her eyes without saying a word. Even though in the postmodern times we live in, relationships sometimes resemble a “contract” instead of an emotionally based connection, it’s still important to involve feelings if you want a relationship built on a strong foundation. There’s always the risk of getting hurt, but that’s why they say “love hurts.”
What other points would you like to add? Please, let us know in the comments.
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