We are sharing with you 6 simple tricks that will help you rekindle the fire in your relationship.
Introduction
Have you ever felt that you and your partner have stopped doing the things you enjoyed doing together? Have you ever felt that sex has become dull and there is almost no novelty at all? Have you ever felt those times when you would just dress up nicely and go out together? Have you ever felt that your heart is not crazy-pumping anymore when you see your significant other?
Well, if you answered “yes” to any of those questions, it means that you are experiencing some emotional distancing from your partner and an apparent loss of whatever made your partner special to you. Don’t worry though. We’re all humans, and it happens much more than we would like to admit. I’ve never met a person or a friend that didn’t have such issues in their relationship; be it long-term or short-term, long-distance or short-distance relationship. It can happen in any situation where two people are emotionally involved.
However, by putting some effort and following some sensible steps, you can actually troubleshoot your relationship and find a solution that will bring you both back to where you were before, provided that you still care about each other and still want to be together. Those steps are not guaranteed to always work for you, but I’m certain that they may highlight some important elements that you need to focus on. Hey, it helped me reflect on the issues in my relationship and finally find the lost “spark”. Some others didn’t and simply moved on.
So, before calling it quits, especially if you have too many things at stake, such as a marriage and kids, give it a try and see what happens.
Here are 6 steps to spark things between you two:
1. Spend some quality time together
The first thing in solving your issues will actually consist of creating the opportunity to do so. Time is a luxury and spending your time working, doing chores, or taking care of your children will leave little to no room for you and your partner. So, reschedule tasks that aren’t of major importance. Try to spend less time on others that affect your relationship. Suggest to your partner to do the same. It would be optimal for you two to share at least two uninterrupted hours every day or so. Just being together and enjoying some quality time gets already 50% of the job done.
While you are at it, try having the conversations that you wanted to but did not have the chance to do so. Caress each other and don’t forget to look each other in the eyes and express how much you love each other. This will be a strong start and will open the gates to the rest of the tips I have for you.
2. Show affection
We tend to think that loving our partner is enough in itself, and we frequently omit to show it in action, thinking that it won’t do any damage. On the contrary, if you keep postponing those small but meaningful gestures, like saying “I missed you” or giving a hug and a sweet kiss in a spontaneous way. It sounds silly to some, but give it a try and see how much difference it makes. After all, if you don’t, you will forget being intimate altogether.
So, start engaging in those small but affectionate interactions. Maybe it won’t be easy if you’re not used to it, but if you commit to it on a daily basis, you’ll have recovered an important part of what keeps you together.
3. Improve your sex life
Most of the problematic couples I have met, inside and out of my social circle, have an almost non-existent sex life or frequent but meaningless sex. You need to revise your attitude if you are guilty of this one as well. Not having sex is a huge detrimental blow to your emotional connection to your partner by itself. No matter how overrated you think sex is, you both need it as a biological need and emotional intimacy. If you don’t believe me, then think about those times when you become lovey-dovey and have the need to share all your feelings after having sex. Essentially, sex is like glue in your relationship. It’s instinctive bonding that erases any distance or resentment between you and your partner.
On the other hand, we have couples that do have frequent sex, but none of them really enjoy it. This is because they either have unresolved differences or have not yet restored their affection for each other before engaging in sex. Looking at the ceiling during those 10 miserable minutes cannot be called “intimacy”, can it?
The bottom line is, that in both cases, you need to the first two points and ramp up your sex life. Even if you are in a good relationship, sex can get monotonous for both of you. You need to introduce some new and exciting stuff during your private sessions. Talk about your fantasies and what you would like to try, try other positions and other rooms, try some sex toys, and prepare a romantic atmosphere with candles and sweet music. Try that dusty corset that you forgot in your closet. The point is, to get the “car out of the mud” and have some meaningful sex again.
4. Discuss your issues
If all the above fails, then it means that there are some underlying problems or that you two are no longer made for each other. In case there is still love, and you want to make it, then I suggest you stop hiding and engage instead in some deep and honest conversations. Maybe it was some unacceptable behavior that caused all this, maybe some suspicions of cheating, or maybe your life goals are different. Whatever it is, is causing trouble for both of you, and you need to address it ASAP. Once everything is cleared out, that impenetrable barrier will look like a thin cigarette paper now. This is something that should not take too much time to happen, otherwise, it might be too late.
5. Take care of yourself
Some of you might get angry at me for saying it, but physical appearance can do some deep damage to your relationship. If you have gained 100 lbs in the last year or if you stopped going to the gym or if you stopped combing your hair and, overall, if you stopped taking care of yourself altogether, it can be the cause of the problem in your relationship. I know, I know, beauty comes in all sizes and shapes, but let us not be shortsighted and shoot down the law of attraction. It is in our nature, and no matter what we say, we do care about the physical appearance of our partner. Instead, get some new clothes, start going to the hairdresser like you used to, do not skip the gym anymore, and buy a new perfume. You would be surprised by how much difference this can make.
6. Communicate with each other
This is the last, but the most critical point. Communication is the key to your relationship. I didn’t want to mention it at all because, as an adult, I assume that whoever is in a relationship, is because he or she has already established good communication with the other half. If you happen to be a couple, which has weak ties to proper communication on all the things that encompass your relationship, then you are doomed. Simple as that.
There is no chance of being together and successfully overcoming your problems if you do not know what each of you wants. For me, communication has solved most of the problems that I have ever had in a relationship, and I would advise you to consider it as the core element.
What other points would you like to add? Please, let us know in the comments.
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